Friday, June 5, 2009


Based on Wikipedia,”Disappointment is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations to manifest. It is a source of psychological stress. Disappointment is a subjective response related to the anticipated rewards. The psychological results of disappointment vary greatly among individuals; while some recover quickly; others mire in frustration or blame or become depressed.”

No wonder there are a lot of depressed people. Imagine being excited for something else, thinking about it the whole time. Always checking the time so it would happen, feeling that “happiness” within you. Anticipating that something good will come your way. Telling people around you about it, most of the time bragging about it. But then when the time came, bwalah! It didn’t happen; something came that disrupt the process. Suddenly Mother Nature was against you. All the excitement, the high energy that lifts you up, the happiness within you, all of it, evaporated in mid air in just one pop! It must be the feeling when dementors came near you to suck your happiness. And now what’s left of you, but pain, hurt, anger, negative thoughts coming all over you. Swearing the world, cursing people, blaming everybody.

I was very excited to have my 15minutes of massage. That is something I wanted to do for ages. Ever since the work stress became a heavy burden. Something you wanted to take off your chest. It’s like a load you carry on your shoulders. I was so excited when I came in after lunch reading the email from our HR about the free massage since there are 4 blind masseurs invited to come to the office. I said, finally! Even if I’m not in an air-conditioned room or lying in a soft bed, at least I get to relieve stress. I excitedly sign in; I was the 3rd on the list of the 2nd masseuse. I went on my scheduled time, but then again, they are not yet finished. I don’t want to stand there waiting for it to finish since I don’t want the masseurs to feel the pressure to end the current session because the next one is already waiting. I came back after 5 minutes and they are not yet finished, after 5 minutes I came back. And lo! Another one has taken my place. Talk about list, talk about schedule, talk about the time. Wooo!!! When do we learn about courtesy? Disappointment rushed into me. Nah, I wouldn’t want to go over there and stand for somebody to finish. I find it rude, there’s a reason why there is a list and why there is a schedule. And now what do I feel? It’s already 40mins after the incident, and still I felt hurt, I feel the pain, and I am disappointed. So now, another stress has been loaded on my back. It now hurts, I know because I am stressed. One day, when my schedule permit or my budget allows, I would have my massage. But not now, because I am disappointed.

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